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“Born to Stand Out,
Hillary spent far longer thinking she could conform to traditional norms, than she did actually fitting into them. This journey was never about going against societal expectations, rather, a burning desire to create a life she was proud of.
It wasn’t until her 30s that Hillary, finally, gave the proverbial middle finger to the pressures of shoulds and coulds. She was bit by the travel bug, forever changing her life, bank account, and passport.
Through a slow, subconscious manifestation… or a life interrupting pandemic and break up, Hillary decided to blow it all up and move aboard full time. Join her on her adventures of food, sex, booze, and travel”
Aja – Friend, author, safe space always
How It All Began
This adventure started as a flee from NYC Covid shut downs. What was supposed to be a 3 month escape to Mexico, turned in to 2 years of on and off travel, and eventually lit the fire (along with getting “burned”… more details on that to follow) to take the plunge in to full time travel.
The first swipe heard round the world, were actually not mine – they were my travel companion in Mexico’s, and the goal was not love; it was to “find weed and maybe learn a little Spanish”. We accomplished neither, but she had a couple fun dates and I ended up virtually “meeting” an awesome man that gave us some great local recommendations and insights; we still stay in touch on Instagram, 3 years later.
The “Bachelors” were not (and are not) the goal, nor is finding “the one”, but they have all had an impact on me and this journey. Their stories vary as widely as their backgrounds; some are blissful romance, some are steamy hook ups, some are comedies (one is a literal comedian), some are snooze-fests, some are still being written.
“We go to foreign cities in search of sensuality and possibly love.
And vice versa: we get in love in search of making the city in which we reside unfamiliar.
All love affairs happen in foreign cities”
“Undying Love, Love Dies” by Jalal Toufik
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Bachelor #25 The MexiLombian
February-March 2023 Bachelor # 25 – The MexiLombian Mexico City, Mexico February-March 2023 My hopes of finding a spark while swiping in CDMX were a bit low due to my 6’1” stature and preference for a romantic interest to be within an inch or two of being eye-to-eye with me. As much as I am…
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Bachelor #24 The NY Slice in Istanbul
January 2023 I matched with the NY Slice, an Algerian man who grew up in the Bronx but was currently living in NJ, on Bumble toward the end of my month long stay in Istanbul. I can find a New Yorker anywhere. I wasn’t sure if I found him all that attractive, but something about…
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Bachelor #23 The Quick Kurd
December 2022 – Istanbul, Türkiye I matched with the Quick Kurd on Bumble towards the middle of my month in Istanbul. He was very tall, very built, and very handsome. I soon learned that he was a trainer, spoke Turkish and had lived in Istanbul most of his life, but was Kurdish. He was very…
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Bachelor #22 The Young Nigerian, Part 2
January 2023 – Istanbul, Turkiye To my surprise, I woke up the next morning (afternoon) to texts from the Young Nigerian letting me know he had made it home, telling me he had had a good time, and wanted to see me again. I texted him back with one eye open and told him I…
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Bachelor #22- The Young Nigerian
New Year’s Eve 2023 – Istanbul, Turkiye I matched with the Young Nigerian in Istanbul just before New Year’s Eve. I almost didn’t swipe on him because I was 98% sure he was a catfish with his absurd cheekbones and jawline and headshot-esc photos. I was also 100% sure he was too young for me,…
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Bachelor #21 The Poly Pakistani
December 2022 Istanbul, Turkiye Almost immediately after getting to Istanbul, I inadvertently started a pattern of dating Poly South Asian men when I matched with the Poly Pakistani on Bumble. Preceded by the Poly Indian Psychologist comedian, who informed me “once you go brown, there is no turning around” when I told him I had…
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Bachelor #20 The Bi-Sexual-Poly-Indian-Comedian-Psychologist
November 2022 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with the Poly Indian Psychologist Comedian while he was in Lisbon to perform at a comedy show. I immediately thought he was sexy in a not-at-all-my-usual-type way (that man bun just really did it for me). We hit it off via chat pretty much immediately and he invited…
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Bachelor #19 The Lightweight
October 2022 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with The Lightweight on Bumble the day I returned to Lisbon in October 2022. He wanted to meet immediately, but I needed a day to settle and adjust to being back on GMT. We agreed to meet the following night. He was a witty, funny, handsome Brit who…
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Bachelor(s) #18 Two Parisiens in Playa
August 2021 – Playa Del Carmen, MX During a travel stall, a friend reached out and asked if another friend and I would be interested in joining her and her friend in Playa Del Carmen. We had never met this friend, but she had a whole house in Mexico for a month, so the obvious…
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Bachelor #17 The Bumble Virgin
Let this be a reminder that it is not only women that are pros at using angles and lighting to present their best side. But also let this be a reminder, that the goal is to eventually meet people in real life and will see what you actually look like.
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Bachelor #16 Zaddy K
December 2021 – Playa Del Carmen, MX I met Zaddy K on Bumble in Playa del Carmen, MX after I maxed out my 90 days in the Schengen region and my sublet asked to extend by a month and I was in desperate need of sunshine. I had spent my first few days running around…
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Bachelor #15 The Bi-sexual Canadian Gold Miner
Yes, I was months in to this new found International Tinderella dating everyone glory and loosening requirements and being open minded, but A FISH pic… damn, I still had SOME standards.
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Bachelor #14 The Laser Lineman
As soon as he popped up on my phone I knew he was a former football player and swiped right with the quickness … because I have a tendency to like ‘em big and with a few hits to the head (we all have weaknesses).
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Bachelor #13 The Sweet Brazilian
Aside from the obligatory wedding mass before getting spunky at a wedding, I can with 100 percent certainty say I have never been on date to church – and either had he, so we decided to cease the opportunity and go on a church date.
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Bachelor #12 The Posh Portuguese
He flashed me a ridiculous smile, made a comment about my height and immediately started calling me “babes”, which normally I would hate but coming from him was fanny flutter invoking.
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Bachelor # 11 The (self proclaimed) Sultan
I was a little caught off guard, but definitely not mad about it. The conversation might have fallen just short of a vibe, but the physical chemistry did not.
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Bachelor #10 The Needy Puppy
Math is not my strong suit and being a barely graduate of the School of Small Town America, I am not the best at conversion, but I knew 1-SEVEN-anything was too short for my 185cm self.
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Bachelor #9 The Mayor of Lisbon
We were a living sitcom featuring 2 fluffy Americans and a Zimbabwean Londoner, all of a certain age. Picture a SlimJim Between 2 marshmallows, one being an extra tall marshmallow.
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Bachelor #8 The Quiet Cross Fitter
October 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with the Cross Fitter on Bumble and we immediately had great and easy conversation. He was sweet, funny enough, and seemed genuinely kind. We quickly moved to WhatsApp from Bumble and then quickly moved to meeting up the following night (per his request). We made a bit of…
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Bachelor # 7 Deconfinement Night D
October 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal Madness was predicted and we were both eager to be a part of it. I matched with D, a tall, handsome NY’er (we are everywhere) on Tinder the day of Lisbon’s “Deconfinement Night” aka: no more masks, no restrictions on bar hours or capacity, no vaccine requirements. D had been…
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Bachelor # 6 Fanny
October 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with Fanny on Bumble a few weeks in to my stay in Lisbon. Motivated by my success with Baby J, I gave this quirky 10-years-my-junior man a right swipe. I soon learned, by his own definition and via our conversations, that he was in fact quite quirky. He…
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Bachelor #5 Baby J
September 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with Baby J (‘J-bird’ as I call him directly) on Bumble a few days before he was arriving in Lisbon for work. We made plans to meet up the second day he was in town at a rooftop bar at a certain time (for story purposes, we’ll say…
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Bachelor #4 Captain Planet
Do I want to sit? Under the Vasco da Gama Bridge, under the stars with a gorgeous man? Yes, yes I do.
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Bachelor #3 The Beefy Brazilian: Part II
October 2021 – Dublin, Ireland The Beefy Brazilian and I did stay in touch. Mostly via Instagram and occasional texts. Our spark remained lit via Instaflirting so I wasn’t shocked when three weeks in, I ever-so-cute-and-coyly mentioned I needed to decide where to go between the end of my Lisbon stay and a trip to Porto…
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Bachelor #3 The Beefy Brazilian
September 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with the Beefy Brazilian on Bumble the beginning of the second week I was in Lisbon (yes ma’am, your girl wasted NO time). I thought he was absolutely adorable in all his super smiley photos and was instantly drawn to him. We started chatting and he told me…
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Bachelor #2 The Local Looking for a Wife
September 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal I matched with the Local Looking for a Wife on Bumble the same day I matched with The Photographer, but seeing as he wasn’t leaving the next day, the Local and I made plans to meet up later in the week. Also in vast contrast to The Photographer, the Local…
International Tinderella 