Often, when I meet people traveling, they ask “What are you doing here?”, “How did you get here?”, etc.

My standard response is to go in to how during COVID, I was going just a little bit mad and desperately needed to get out of my NYC apartment and run wild, so I took off and spent several months in the Yucatan. I then go on to explain that I fell deeper in love with travel and adventure during my time in Mexico, so when the opportunity to sublet my apartment for three months presented itself very last minute, I jumped on it to materialize my dream of living in Europe then return to Mexico.  

I then go on to explain that while materializing my dream of living in Europe for three months, I fell deeply in love with Lisbon, and the desire to explore more of Europe.  

The real reason though? The icing on the proverbial cake, the make moves motivator? Chlamydia.  

The STI that broke the camel’s back (but certainly not mine; then maybe it would have been worth it), all trust, and led to the ultimate demise of a 7 year on and off/situationship that was never on enough, but also never off enough. Unfortunately, it was always “on” just enough to contribute to feelings of guilt about leaving for too long, and missing him while I was traveling longer term… apparently he also missed me so much be forgot to use a condom wherever he found comfort in my absence.  

So, when my first dose of high power antibiotics (I guess if I am going to get a life changing STI, one that is cleared up in 5-7 days with some antibiotics is the way to go) corresponded with my aunt reaching out to inquire about subletting my apartment to her friend’s colleague, there was no hesitation, no doubt, I enthusiastically said yes.  

After saying yes, I learned the sublet was for three months, and was in three weeks. Maybe the Doxycycline was clouding my judgement, maybe I just really needed to get out of NYC, maybe the Universe really just knew how much I needed this, but I stuck with that yes and started planning a 3 month sabbatical (well, working sabbatical, I am not #blessed enough to be independently wealthy, but am fortunate to work remote) that would start in 22 days.  

I chose Lisbon for the first six weeks of my travels because my best friend had been talking about going for years and always dreamed of getting there. That is the only reason I picked Lisbon.  I had to Google Lisbon to know what country it is in.   

I found a great Airbnb for the first month, at a drastically discounted rate due to construction noise nearby, which is pretty much a lullaby to a NY’er, and booked a flight.  I was going to play the last two weeks by ear, possibly visit somewhere else in Europe, or just find another Airbnb, then head to Mexico for the remaining 6 weeks of my sublet.  

I packed a 25” suitcase with all I thought I would need for late Fall in Lisbon, Portugal (Lisbon is in Portugal, thanks Google) and early winter in Merida, MX.  I packed up and cleaned by apartment for a stranger to live in for 3 months, had a “see you later” dinner with my friends in NYC, and took off.  

God, that sounds so lovely and like a fairy tale.  

In reality, I was terrified.  What the fuck was I thinking? THREE months?  I didn’t even know where I was going and here I was on a plane with no home to go back to for THREE months.  I had nothing planned, other than where I was staying for a month.  There had been no time to really research the city or plan what I wanted to do, see, and eat… what was I going to EAT?  This is very much my priority all the time, but I was committing to staying somewhere for a over a month and didn’t know if they even had food.  

I soon discovered that Lisbon not only variety of food, but also a wide variety of men.  

When I was planning (using that term loosely), dating while abroad hadn’t even crossed by mind, but it didn’t take long until curiosity crept in and I took to the Tinder (and Bumble) to see what Lisbon had to offer.  By “it didn’t take long”, I mean two days.  

On day two of what was meant to be six weeks in Lisbon, I started swiping… everyone.  

I threw my NYC “standards” (which were obviously not that high, see: chlamydia) to the side and decided to travel date with a much more open mind, and abundance of condoms.  I was certainly not looking for love, so why be picky?  I was open to all encounters: friends, dates, hook-ups; the adage “here for a good time, not a long time” definitely applied here.  

With this mindset, I was open to older men, younger men, shorter men (okay, I still had a solid 6’ requirement for dates/sex, I can only bend so far… play of words entirely intentional here). I started swiping, and naturally landed on a 6’3”, bald headed, bearded, dad bodied, guy  from NYC: aka my EXACT type. You can take the girl out of New York…  

I may have started in Lisbon with where I left off in New York, but I did veer off my normal course on numerous occasions: I went out with young guys, older guys, short guys, skinny guys, racially and ethnically diverse guys, fellow travelers, locals, and everything in between.   

I decided I wasn’t going to allow the demise of my last situationship to negatively impact my experience, self worth or confidence, I was going to get out there and do what I wanted, when I wanted and with who I wanted: The ultimate ‘clap’ back, if you will.  

Dates also gave me a reason to dress up, put on some make up, use the perfect lighting in my Lisbon apt, and snap some selfies to post on my IG that the ex-factor was watching closely. Petty? Absolutely, but growth takes time.  

Over the course of 3 months in Lisbon – after a week and a half, I was so in love with the city and my experiences there, I knew six weeks wasn’t enough and canceled my trip to Mexico – I met 14 eligible (allegedly) bachelors. I would move on to Mexico when my sublet extended by a month and meet 2 more great guys there.  My return to Portugal four months later would bring more encounters, as would my most recent return to Portugal and month long trip to Istanbul.  

As this is written, I am on a plane to NYC to catch up with friends for the weekend, then am off to Mexico City for two months.  My attitude and approach to dating has not changed, and if anything; has evolved.  I have never been so upfront and honest, both with men and myself.  My confidence continues to waiver, and that is okay… I am more comfortable with the uncomfortable than I have ever been, and that is the real growth.   

I remain sex-positive, empowered, and unapologetic in my lifestyle and choices and that is what keeps me excited to continue this adventure to leave no app unswipped as I begin my life as a full time traveler.