October 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal

I matched with the Cross Fitter on Bumble and we immediately had great and easy conversation.

He was sweet, funny enough, and seemed genuinely kind.

We quickly moved to WhatsApp from Bumble and then quickly moved to meeting up the following night (per his request). We made a bit of a loose plan and kept things pretty lowkey.

From his pictures, I was definitely attracted to the cross fitter and was looking forward to meeting him, so when my phone service went haywire (as in wouldn’t even connect to wifi/no data I pay a mortgage for) the night we were meeting, I went in to panic mode.

After hours on chat with Verizon and discovering WhatsApp is available is via the world wide web (who knew?! Probably everyone but me… but, hey, I felt like I had landed on the moon when I figured this out – move over Buzz Aldrin), I was able to connect with the cross fitter and explain I hadn’t gone ghost and still wanted to meet.

The cross fitter offered to pick me up since he was driving in to Lisbon, and I agreed since my phone was still not working and didn’t want to risk having to look for him or not being able to connect.

YES! You are entirely correct: getting in a car with a man with no phone service was in fact, pretty dumb in retrospect.

BUT! He was tall and beefy and bearded with the lips of a god and seemed like a genuinely good guy, so if I ended up on Date Line and they showed his pic and described how he volunteers on weekends, it would make sense.

He texted me on WhatsApp Web that he was at the restaurant up the hill I designated as my pick up (even sent me a pic of exactly where he was and the type and color of the car – would a murderer to do that?? See, perfectly safe!).

Three minutes in to our drive and very one sided conversation I was at a loss as to if this was the same man I had been texting. He was SO quiet. Quiet in every way. The few words he spoke where so soft spoken, I had a hard time hearing him.

I figured he must not be a in to me, bummer because he was cute, but I’m not for everyone… but then he said he was going to park and we could wander through Alfama and try to find some Fado music. I figured we’d just have a friendly evening, maybe a quick drink and then part ways, because I was definitely getting not interested vibes.

We walked around Alfama a bit, silently except for my attempts at chatter and asking questions about the area that received pretty vanilla responses.

Just when I was considering asking if he wanted to go back to texting in hopes of having the lively conversations we had prior to taking this IRL, we heard a Fado singer not far away and headed in the direction of the melancholy crooning that fit my current mood. He suggested an outdoor table at a little restaurant so we could take in the Fado show without it being too loud.

Optimistic a drink might loosen the cross fitter up a bit, and hoping he would open up a bit more now that we were situated, I requested a drink menu, gave it a quick look over, said I was getting a Sangria, and handed him the menu….

Which he put down without even looking at it.

A man who knows what he wants and doesn’t even look at the menu? Sexy. Or maybe just a beer drinker? Keep it simple, I like that too.

The waitress came back over and he ordered in Portuguese (also sexy).

Now, I was still pretty new to Portugal and Portuguese is a VERY difficult language, but I didn’t need to be a linguistics expert to understand “Sangria tinto e agua”. Agua? ahhh-gua?? A water?

Of course, drinking is not required… but, I knew that he DOES drink and in our non-verbal, non-boring conversations, we talked about how much we both like cocktails and enjoy a good beer.

As all hope of a drink loosening him up and bordering on asking who I had been texting with leading up to our meeting, he said he wasn’t drinking because he had training the next morning.

I guess that made sense, and is responsible, or whatever… but it definitely didn’t make things less awkward. As we were sitting there, with our sangria and water in relative silence… I asked the question that (regrettably) finally got him talking…

“I didn’t realize cross fit was international!… Tell… me… about … it?”

Sweet weight lifting, snatching, burpee, Jesus did he tell me about it.

Now; I love a good spin class, or occasional weight session, a good hike, a long walk… but I am fat ya’ll. Exercise falls somewhere after eating, drinking, sleeping, a good poo, organizing my closet, politics, eating and drinking again because all of the above makes me hungry and parched, so talking work outs is not really my thing, but hey! if he likes it, I love it.

At once I was both glad he was opening up a bit and chatting, and trying to stay awake. I put my counseling skills to good use and nodded and provided prompts long enough to finish my sangria. I took a chance and tried to pivot the conversation to something I could also engage in, but all attempts came up short.

I took a shot at a hail Mary bow out (before just saying I was going to head home) and said “You must have an early morning tomorrow”. Luckily, I was either right, or he also wanted an out, so we decided to call it a brief night.

I insisted on paying for my sangria and his water (my go-to if I know I am not seeing someone again) and in turn he insisted on driving me home, which was very appreciated since my phone was still not working and I couldn’t call a Bolt.

After a quiet ride, he dropped me back at the restaurant and told me he had a really great time (at least he was kind enough to humor me) and asked me to text him when my phone was working again. I thanked him for the ride home and told him it was nice to meet him, thinking this was a one-and-done-date.

I ended up getting my phone to work again and did text him to tell him and to make sure he got home okay. He responded and again said how he had a great time and that he wanted to get together again… ummm… what?? I was so confused. Maybe he had just been nervous? Maybe he was just being polite and saying he wanted to see me again as a courtesy? Maybe he was so overwhelmed with my beauty and charms he was rendered speechless?

Obviously the latter is the only viable answer, so I said I was open to meeting up again… maybe against my better judgment.

…. Definitely against my better judgement because we made loose plans to meet up again a couple of days later when he finished work, but kept pushing the time back, until he finally called and I was already in bed and he hit me with the ever classic, never smooth…

“Can I join you?”

Oh, now you can use your words?

No.