November 2021 – Lisbon, Portugal

I matched with the Sweet Brazilian, who was living in Miami, but visiting family in Portugal, on Tinder just before American Thanksgiving.

He wasn’t exactly my type, but was definitely attractive, and from our first interaction seemed genuinely kind.

After confirming his height, and reaffirming mine because he was clearly a little intimidated by my grandeur (Tinder really needs a verification method), we decided to meet up for a day date prior to me having to work in the early evening.

We met at a cute restaurant downstairs from my Airbnb, which he chose by happenstance.  He was about 2 inches shorter than he stated, but that is usually expected and his photos were definitely a bit dated.  He was still handsome, but there was no immediate spark for me. He commented on my height, insisting he really is 6’ tall (sir, you are 5’10) and adamant that I undersold my stature.

Slightly awkward start over with, we decided to get a bite to eat and then wander around a bit, as this was his first time in Lisbon and he hadn’t done much yet.

As we shared a sardine toast and a cheese plate, I confirmed to myself that there was no spark, but that he seemed like a nice guy and I was looking forward to spending the afternoon with him. I was glad that we had decided on a day date which seemed to fit our collective vibe.

We made our way through the streets of Lisbon, stopping at a couple of Miradouros, and eventually landed in front of the Lisbon Cathedral.  We both commented on how pretty it was and then he asked if I was religious.

I told him I was not religious at all, but had been raised Catholic.  He said he had also been raised Catholic, but did not subscribe to organized religion. 

So there we were: an atheist and an agnostic, standing in front of a church.

Naturally, we decided to go inside and take a look around.

Aside from the obligatory wedding mass before getting spunky at a wedding, I can with 100 percent certainty say I have never been on date to church – and either had he, so we decided to cease the opportunity and go on a church date.

He was a gentleman and bought my ticket to church, and even splurged so we could do the observation deck.

The Cathedral was absolutely beautiful, and we both enjoyed the architecture and history of the building.  We discussed our religious upbringings and how they had, and still do, impact familial relationships.

It was one of those travel moments that really proves the universe (and Tinder) puts us in the places with the people: two people from different parts of the world, different ethnic and cultural backgrounds, but with strikingly similar experiences.

By the time we were climbing up to the observatory, it was clear to both of us this was not a love or lust match, and we both seemed more at ease just hanging out which made the conversation easier and more open.

I had a bit of a curfew, as I had to get back to my Airbnb for a work call, but decided to take the sweet Brazilian to Barrio Alto to show him some of my favorite night life spots as his family was arriving the next day and some were looking to party. I was a bit surprised when he asked if I had time to grab a quick bite and drink before I headed off to work, but was happy to.

We ended up having a really great conversation (and sangria) and I was glad to have a reminder that not every date has to be wild or exciting or chaotic or sexy, and that it can be really nice to just hang out with someone and have a day.

I did eventually have to run off to work, and the Sweet Brazilian refused my attempt to through euros at him as I hurried off and he waited for the bill. I texted to thank him for a great day and we discussed getting together when his family arrived and my friend also arrived the next day.

I didn’t actually expect to hear from him again, but he did reach out a couple of days later to see if my friend and I wanted to meet up and go out for some drinks… unfortunately we had taken her welcome drinks a bit too far and were in no shape to go out… then when we were ready to go out, him and his crew were in rough shape (as Lisbon will have you).

We didn’t get together again, but he did text me when he got back to Miami to let me know he had returned safely, as I had asked him to do.

I obligatorily told him I would let him know if I was ever in Miami and wished him well with some life things he had told me he was working on.

Every time I walk past the Lisbon Cathedral, I think of my random “church date” and smile at the reminder.