December 2021 – Playa Del Carmen, MX

I met Zaddy K on Bumble in Playa del Carmen, MX after I maxed out my 90 days in the Schengen region and my sublet asked to extend by a month and I was in desperate need of sunshine.

I had spent my first few days running around PDC with a bisexual Canadian Gold miner I had accidentally met on Tinder (we’ll circle back to this) and had an absolute blast with but zero attraction or chemistry so when I saw this

tall,

bearded,

bald headed,

smile of the gods,

body chiseled by angels

man come across my screen, I put my phone down (so as not to accidentally swipe left and have to swear myself to celibacy for life as punishment for not at the very least pretending it would be a match if I hadn’t ruined it being a totally spazz), said a little prayer, closed one eye, and … swiped… right…

IT

WAS

A

MATCH!!!

I think I screamed.

HE must have been the spazz and swiped right on accident, right??

Only one way to find out… I hit him with my cute, but classic “hey very “ (the little wave really reels ‘em in) and then went back to swiping because there was absolutely no way this absolute smoke show of a salt and pepper bearded Zaddy (9 years my senior) was going to…

HE RESPONDED!!

Heeeeeee respondeddddddddd!!

After I picked myself up off the floor that I fell on to in excitement, I engaged in a cute, causal chat with this man that I decided HAD to have been using old pics because there was no way he looked that good at 46 AND was charming and funny and … seemingly… in to me.

Our chat progressed throughout the afternoon until he finally asked THE question: what are you doing?

Not “WYD”, but actually wrote out the words! These older guys really know how to keep it classy. Swoon.

I told him I was chilling in the rooftop pool, waiting to watch the sunset.

And he said: Can I join you?

CAN YOU JOIN ME!?! For the rest of my life in everything that I do forever and always? Yes, you can join me.

He said he would be there “by sunset” so I collected myself, acted very natural, had 2 drinks in 12 minutes and read the same page of a book 43 times until I got a text: “coming up”.

Coming up? Where? OhMyGodHere! To the pool that I am in in my least flattering, all the wrong bits hanging out bikini, no make up and hair I washed… I don’t even know when, that’s where.

Why had I not thought this meet up through more thoroughly??

Too late now. He was in the elevator… that he would probably be getting right back in as soon as he took in all my glory.

I was sitting on a bench in the pool when I heard the elevator ding and the doors open. I didn’t look up from my book, playing it so cool, giving myself that “make him come to you” pep talk.

I looked up and there was an actual Adonis walking toward me, an actual Adonis, in swim trunks and tank top (the loose kind, not a wife beater, Zaddy K is grown-grown) with a towel casually thrown over his shoulder.

His pictures were not accurate… he somehow actually looked BETTER in real life.

As I considered if it was actually possibly to drown myself in a cute/sexy manner before he reached me, Zaddy K smiled, reached in to the bag I didn’t notice him carrying and pulled out a beer. He extended it to me and said “I should have asked what you liked, but I hope this okay”.

Release the doves: we’re getting married.

After I cracked the beer and stifled a moan as he took his shirt off and joined me in the pool, I actually calmed down enough to get to know this gorgeous creature, who was, in deed; also kind and funny and really chill.

We talked about our travels and what brought us to PDC. I learned of his recent retirement from the military and how he was getting in to real estate and exploring moving to MX full time to sell property to expats.

We watched the sunset and then decided it was chilly and we needed more beer.

So we went down to my room, where Zaddy K asked if it was okay to come in (yes consent check Zaddy K! Yes!).

I took a quick shower while he chilled on the balcony and we headed out for a very romantic evening stroll… to 7-eleven for .70 beers.

Beer and 7-11 snacks in tow, we headed back to my hotel (aaaaallllllllllll consent boxes checked off) and Zaddy K ordered us some food.

We had a hotel bed picnic of pizza and beer with the night breeze coming in, watched half of a movie, and then had… dessert.

So much dessert.

A smorgasbord of… dessert.

A three course dessert menu.

The next morning, I was thoroughly hung over and he was thoroughly making fun of me, but being the perfect being he is, sent me up to the pool and went out to get us water and coffee.

Sitting in the pool in my Hollywood shades and absurd goofy grin recounting the last 15 or so hours, I was on cloud 19! Until a group of women apparently had some thoughts and opinions about my fab bikini clad flab sharing the same waters as them.

As I worked through the whole “they are miserable cows and I am beautiful and every body is a bikini body” self talk stuff, I heard the elevator door open and watched all of their heads turn.

They immediately started trying to act cute and I knew… they were seeing the Adonis that is Zaddy K, they were having the same reaction I had had the day before, except this time, he was carrying two coffees… and as he walked past them, bent down, handed me one, kissed me and slid in to the pool I watched each of their faces, and it was the greatest (okay second… or third greatest ) gift Zaddy K could have given me.

I ended up seeing Zaddy K several more times over my remaining 2 weeks in PDC and we had a great time! He was everything a vacation fling was meant to be and more.

We loosely kept in touch after I left and when I planned a trip back to PDC I hit him up to see if he was still there and he was…