February-March 2023

Bachelor # 25 – The MexiLombian

Mexico City, Mexico February-March 2023

My hopes of finding a spark while swiping in CDMX were a bit low due to my 6’1” stature and preference for a romantic interest to be within an inch or two of being eye-to-eye with me. 

As much as I am open to other travelers, the standard CDMX hipster expat also doesn’t exactly light my fire.

So, when a tall, dark, and dashingly handsome man with biceps the size of my head and a boyish smile framed by dimples showed up on my Bumble screen, I swiped right faster than a lucha libra can leap off the ropes.

It

Was

A 

MATCH!!

This beautiful mountain of a man had actually also feigned interest in me?! I didn’t even wait my standard 3-5 I-am-not-so-desperate-to-message-IMMEDAITELY hours and sent that first message. 

He also answered immediately.  We were off to a good start.

It took all of 4 message exchanges to realize this burley man’s exterior was the only thing hard about him.  It was immediately clear that he was not only incredibly handsome, but also very sweet and kind.

We exchanged messages for a couple of days and then he asked if I wanted to meet. Of course I did!  He then asked if I wanted to go to a NINETIES AND EARLY 2000s PARTY with him!

MARRY ME.

I mean… yeah!  I’d be into that.

He gave me all the info for the club, a huge outdoor venue, which I looked up and immediately loved. It also happened to be within walking distance of my apartment, so big bonus points.

We exchanged a few messages leading up to our date and he texted to check in and confirm time the day of (sexy).

I got to the club and was pleasantly surprised I wasn’t the only person in the crowd that had actually lived through the 90s. 

I texted that I had arrived, and he said he had also just gotten there.  As I read that, I looked up and there was, unmistakenly the MexiLombian.  He was twice the size of any other person there and that smile was absolutely unmistakable.

This mountain of a man, was simultaneously one of the hottest and most adorable humans I had ever seen up close, and I would quickly learn he was also one of the kindest and funniest.

We went inside and immediately got in the long line for the bar, where we chatted and got to know each other a bit.  One thing I very quickly learned was that this man LOVES to dance.  He did not stop bobbing the entire time we were in line (or the entire night).  I am not a dancer, unless I have had multiple drinks, but this man had me dancing and singing along to every 90s song that blared from the DJ.

We eventually needed snacks so we headed to back to the bar where he questioned what the fuck “cauliflower wings” were and why I would want to order them, but also graciously ordered a meat-free snack so we could share. 

He reluctantly agreed to try my cauliflower wings, so I dipped one in my hot sauce and popped it in his mouth…

And we both immediately regretted that.

He turned bright red and started aggressively coughing and I was sure I had killed him.

Apparently, being ½ Mexican and ½ Colombian does not = having a spice tolerance.

Ooops.

Once I was sure I had not actually killed him and we had a good laugh, we went back to the dance floor where we met some of his friends, who were really cool and fun.

We danced and laughed and shouted to each other over “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, “Genie in a Bottle”, and even “I Get Knocked Down”.  And the whole time this gorgeous many just kept smiling at me like I as some mysteries majestic creature.

When the lights finally came up and everyone started gathering up jackets to leave, he asked how I was going to get home and I announced I was going to walk.

He said I was not going to walk home alone, so I told him he better walk with me then (bold).

And he did just that.

We walked the 20 minutes back to my apartment talking and laughing and getting to know each other a bit more until we got to my front gate and we were suddenly awkward teenagers.

After what felt like a very long silence (but was probably 4 seconds) I asked how he  was getting home (not bold) <pause> “the bus”.

He then gave me a hug goodnight that turned into one of the most amazing goodnight kisses of my entire life.  We were so wrapped up in the kiss, we forgot we were standing directly in front of the security booth until we heard the guard cough. With a giggle, we separated, agreed to get together again and he waited until I was safely in the gate and full of regret to walk away.

He texted me to let me know he had made it home and I told him I should have invited him in.  He said “There is next time”.

And

there

CERTAINLY

was.

“Next time” was delivery and a movie at my place.  I asked him if he could pick up water on the way over and this man showed up carrying 8 gallons of water… all of which immediately hit the floor as soon as the door was closed as we made up for the regret of not continuing our previous date.

5 weeks later, I left Mexico City and my gorgeous MexiLombian after a whirlwind romance.  We have loosely stayed in touch since, and every time I get a “Hola mami” text, I see that smile and those dimples and get just a little bit melty.